Being a lawyer means guiding, defending, listening, and supporting

But certain areas of law particularly test our humanity. Family law is undoubtedly one of them.

In our profession, we learn to maintain a sense of perspective. It’s necessary. Yet emotions can run high when we support people going through extremely painful family situations. Our role, then, is to support them, guide them, and give voice to their experiences during a time in their lives that is often marked by suffering and misunderstanding.

In our practice, we work with many parents. Quite often, these are fathers who feel disconnected from their children. This obviously does not mean that mothers are always to blame. We also represent mothers facing situations in which the father’s behavior is not in the child’s best interest.

But one common reality often emerges: fathers who struggle with the distance from their children following a separation. Sometimes because the breakup has left deep emotional scars. Sometimes because one parent has historically been more involved in the child’s daily life. Sometimes simply because it is difficult to redefine the family dynamic after a separation.

In these situations, children may find themselves caught in the middle of what is known as a conflict of loyalty.

And this raises a crucial question: Is it really a child’s place to choose between their parents?

How can you ask a child to freely express how they feel when they’re afraid of hurting one of them? How can you expect them to choose between two people they love deeply?

For parents, these situations are often extremely difficult. I’ve seen fathers cry in my office. I’ve seen parents leave court deeply upset, sometimes discouraged, because the emotional stakes are so high when it comes to their child.

At times like these, our role as lawyers is to stand by our clients, speak on their behalf, and support them within a legal framework that seeks above all to protect the best interests of the child.

But these situations also encourage us to think more broadly about how we view co-parenting after a separation.

Shouldn’t we consider, when circumstances permit and when the child’s age allows it, a principle of equal shared custody?

In other words, the starting point is that the child should maintain a balanced relationship with each parent, while of course allowing for adjustments to this principle when a family’s specific circumstances require it.

Because beyond the conflicts between adults, one thing should always remain at the center: the child, and their fundamental right to maintain a place in the lives of both parents.